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WTF
I don’t use the expression lightly. I could have sat anywhere at the mall food court during lunch today. I scanned the crowd and looked for a spot with the fewest crying babies in close proximity. I...
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My crazy neighbour leaves her last note…..because I killed her. Just kidding....
First, I’d like you to read the disclaimer I added to the bottom of my last post, WTF: Author’s Note: It has since been brought to my attention by a couple of my compassionate, church-going friends...
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Trees owe me, big time
I volunteer for an organization that plants trees in the community and promotes the importance of planting trees for environmental and human health. Before you go thinking I’m a charitable hippie...
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I thought it was over…
Turns out, the neighbour note-leaving saga might not be completely over. Or, a new one has just begun. This is my life. As you may recall, I have had some, um, issues with my neighbour. If you need a...
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Office hijinks!
My last day at my current job is tomorrow. No, believe it or not, I wasn’t fired for accidental nudity. A less likely scenario has played out–someplace else wants to hire me! So, I’m leaving higher...
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It’s all fun and games until you shit in the woods
WARNING: Do not read if you are eating, just finished eating, disgusted by bodily functions, or if you are my mother who begged me not to share this story. Last week, I went on my annual trip up north...
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I’m on a bike
This week, I fell off my bicycle for the first time in my adult life. So I thought tell you about that and reminisce about the other times my bike has screwed me. I fall off my bicycle for the first...
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I moved. Here’s why.
Oh, hi! I didn’t see you there. Thanks for coming. It’s been a while. Did you miss me? I missed you. Here’s a recap of the fun we missed together during our time apart: My Christmas hams healed nicely....
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Fun with identification!
This is short and sweet because frankly, things (thankfully) have been pretty quiet in the embarrassing, perplexing situations department of my life. Also, the season premiere of Survivor airs very...
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Deadwood
Today, I would like to offer you some advice. It might change your life, or even save it. You’re welcome in advance, and don’t ever say I never give you anything. Here it is: The single support leg in...
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Ski-sus Christ, it’s almost winter!
What? Winter’s holy. We had our first snowfall this week! Ok, it barely accumulated and melted immediately, but it gets me excited for the upside of winter—skiing! Other than during a field trip in...
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Shit happens. To me. Go figure.
In a past post (I moved. Here’s why.), I alluded to a very disturbing event that happened to me amid the moving chaos (you know, that time when several neighbours found my blog and ganged up on me...
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Retail therapy
‘Tis the season to shop. We all know I have um, special, thoughts and experiences with the shopping process. If you don’t, here’s a quick catch-up list (unless you have something better to do. You do?...
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Suicidal snow
Hey kids, remember meeeeeeee? It’s your friendly neighbourhood, half-assed “blogger”! You don’t? Oh. I decided to cool it on the blog over the holidays, you know, for Jesus’ sake. But then my computer...
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The yellow brick road
“Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow, follow, follow, follow, Follow the yellow brick road!” What’s more beautiful than freshly fallen snow? I love the crunch under my...
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The seeds
It’s no secret that one of my favourite snacks is Spitz sunflower seeds. To be so brash as to quote myself: “I am an expert sunflower seed eater. I have spent copious hours honing my craft. Forget...
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Me lucky charms
Top o’ the marnin’ to ya! St. Patrick’s Day always reminds me of a wee embarrassing moment I had whilst in university. I think it’s safe to say that St. Patty’s Day, especially for the student...
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Elevators really push my buttons
Yup. Went there. Ok, so the elevator is inherently awkward. Confined space. Strangers. Smells. Standing. Germs on the buttons. Mirrors, sometimes. Security camera, sometimes. You automatically submit...
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RIP Skeletaurus
In loving memory… Peacefully and surrounded by her only loved one, Skeletaurus passed away Friday, April 4, 2014 at 13 years old. She died of auto-asphyxiation*–billowing smoke through her hood just as...
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No cabbage soup for you!
Alright, so I recognize my last few posts have been a bit lackluster (really, a bit on elevators?). I’m sorry! If you can believe it, weird things just haven’t been happening to me lately! Maybe it’s...
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